I Still Love My Friend In A Forever Kind Of Way So I Told Him This

I wrote this in 2006.

Years later…I can say that I still do feel the same way about him. He really is a great man, and a wonderful friend. I only wish that I didn’t spend so much time dwelling in my fantasies…afraid of reality…told him what he meant to me….finally…. too late.

Damn. I’m looking at life from the end
The life that me and you won’t get to spend
We’re at the end, and never even got to begin
We just stepped into being more than just friends
I just took a chance, opened and let you in
Now I’m wishing I could live life over again
Well not all of it, just from the touch of your soul
When you asked me for a kiss
And I said no
I didn’t want us tainted
We built a solid friendship and I didn’t want to change it
I can’t blame it, I thought that what I did was right
I never knew I’d grow to need you every night
That’s right I need you
You’ve become a part of me
A part of all my thoughts and present in every dream
I see the sun rise and set in your eyes
I can no longer deny how I feel inside
But I try.
In fact my feelings I hide
Try to act like it doesn’t matter if you stay by my side
But it does
See I need your love
Its like you were sent just for me from above
And like Typical man, I ignored god’s word
Put your pursuit of me with other men that I’ve heard
All your sweet words I swore were absurd
And just game but now I hold the blame
And I don’t even know if for me you feel the same
And I don’t care
Where you go I’m trying to be there
You ignite me like fire and air
Like Sonny and cher
Like a kid at the fair
Like a picnic basket to yogi the bear
I like your laugh, I love your smile
I love the way you handle business and your swagger and style
You know I’d catch the bus to see you and walk 10 miles
Just to chill and talk and be with you for a while
I’m sprung.
My search for a man is done
Its like you’re Neo, the only possible one
Its up to you
You’re the truth
The epitome of divine
Its like thru you I find that I strengthen my shine
I’ve seen in dreams us spend a lifetime
I told you that I loved you ten thousand times
You said to me you were eternally mine.
One night seemed like a flight through time.
So I smile each and every time we speak.
Another step closer to possible destiny.
I’m feeling you really unquestionably.
Its not me wanting you its you wanting me
And you can take your time, chill talk day after day
We’re superstars, staying on our grind for pay
I’ll hold you down every time you go away
I’ll let your walk talk words you don’t have to say
A single word. Just lead the way.
And I’m there like I said our lives, we could share
Its not a matter of if baby, its when and where
I know I said yes too late
I know I let you slip away
Your departure grows closer everyday
And I’m too big for you to pack away
And we just started talking around new years day
I shouldnt’ve wasted 3 seasons trying to front and fake
Then maybe a different path we would take
But we won’t
Cuz I don’t know if I’m just wishing
Or if you can really see yourself in my vision
Either way, each time that I’m with you
Every moment feels just like a dream come true
When we talk, chill or make it do what it do
I could never get tired of you in my view
The end of us would have to be a desicion from you.
Til then, you can bet i’m all about you.
And that’s real.

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